Total Drama College
by DIM666 - Insane Leader
Summary: Sequel to TDIR. The 13 best contestants go to an abandoned Highschool for Chris' next round of embarrassing challenges. The winner will be unexpected, and the Drama will be stunning. Episode 2 up: Biology, Botany, Geology: Oh my!
1. Show me a good Firearm

Note to all readers. Contains material that may not be appropriate for ages 15 and up. To understand this, read Total Drama World Tour Reunion and then Total Drama Indianapolis Racing. Then you should be caught up enough to read this.

Everyone has been DYING to see this, so I'll write it. Has a slight return to the Island, in the way that there will be an elimination virtually every episode. Note that this season is only 13 episodes long, only 13 contestants are competing, and there will be no aftermaths or anything of the sort. Ready? HERE WE GO!

The car stopped in front of the seemingly abandoned High School. Out stepped a familiar looking female. She was taller then before, but still had that same signature smile.

Beth smiled even wider as the sun rays beamed through the clouds above and onto her. She spread her arms, spinning around for a moment before walking toward the double doors. Pushing it open, she wheeled her suitcase behind her as she walked down the halls. "Chris!" Her call echoed through the halls. "CHRIS!" She screamed louder. Faintly, on down the hall she was in, she thought she could here something other then her echoes. She left her suitcase there at the hall's entrance to run down, seeing exactly who or what was there!

"Good evening idiots of all ages!" Chris's voice sounded through the door to the principal office. Beth looked in around the door's crack, where Chris McLain was standing on top of the desk, arms up in the air while Chef was leaning against the wall snickering. Just as noticeable was that Chris's hairpiece was backwards! This confirmed that he must really be bald…and maybe even drunk. "Today I will be giving you…"

That was when he noticed her looking around the corner. "BETH!" He shouted, sounding extremely annoyed. "Why are you here so early?"

"I'm sorry! I wanted to get a head start on getting ready!" Chris folded his arms, and as he did, his hairpiece fell to the ground, showing a bald Chris. "You ever thought of Bosley?" She suggested.

Chris shook his head, sighed, and reached up, pulling off his bald cap, showing once again his normal hair. "I'm not bald, or even balding Beth." He remarked. "Go to room 203. The map should show you where it is." He pointed out, gritting his teeth. She virtually leaped out of the room, and the door shut behind her. Then, just as she started walking down the halls, she realized that she hadn't seen a map yet.

"Oh. Crap."

-Original Total Drama Theme, redone by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus-

*Music starts in low, then slowly clocks in eerily* *While this goes on, the Camera shows the High-school, shooting through the doors, down the hall, past Chris McLain who is in a office chair, and to the pool."

*Drums bang hard* *Camera then dives into the pool, Showing Owen swimming with a blow-up alligator*

Parents! I'm Doing Fine! *Camera jumps out of the water to show Trent smiling while wearing swimming trunks, diving in as Gwen watches while sitting under an umbrella*

IN this game of life, Your advice is on my mind! *Camera pans left, showing Duncan watching the incident with raised eyebrows*

When you asked me what I wanted to be, I'm telling you, I am now famous! *Camera shoots toward the track, where Eva and Izzy run side-by-side, Noah and Owen cheering in the bleachers*

I'm finally getting closer to the sun *Alejandro corners Heather against the lockers, talking to her about what appears to be strategy*

Although the competition's killing my chance to have already won! *In the Mess Hall, Chef takes some several years old sushi out of the freezer*

Everything I'm doing, the obstacles are still in my way! *Tyler and Lindsey look at Chef with wide eyes, then at each other in fear.*

Yet I've got to get their one day! *In the computer room, Beth shows Ezekiel how to hack a online game*

Because I shall soon be Famous! *Sierra updates her twitter blog, a framed picture of Cody sitting next to her. She wipes a tear from her eye as she looks at the image*

*Rapid Repeated beating in the background*

I Shall soon be famous! *Camera shoots into the hallway, showing the map on the ceiling*

I am Now Famous! *Shoots into Principal's office, where Chris sits in a chair, holding a plate filled with report cards*

I Shall Soon be Famous! *Camera zones out a bit, showing the TDC contestants looking at him eagerly as Chef in a female secretary outfit walks up, telling Chris something*

*Scratchy Demonic voice* I AM NOW FAMOUS! *Rapid drum roll, then sudden beat at the end* *As this happens, the camera zones way out, showing that over the front door of the school building, a sign saying 'Total Drama College' Can be seen*

It had been several hours later, and everyone else has already shown up. Beth never did find the room, so she ended up just standing outside and waiting. Now she was engaged in a conversation about hair dyes with Lindsey. Duncan and Gwen were not in immediate sight, as they were spray painting symbols and other stuff onto the side of the school, giggling about it the whole time. Alejandro and Heather were patiently sitting on a bench, his arm wrapped around her back, conversing with Tyler about the Korean War, which apparently, Tyler understood very little of.

Eva, Sierra, Ezekiel, Owen, and Noah were watching with raised eyebrows as the female known quite well as Izzy was springing around through the air, doing slips, back flips, and the like. "Guys! You've got to try this! It is like so fun! Whee!" And she went sailing backwards again, one leg wrapped over her right shoulder while upside-down in mid air. Landing on her head, she spread her arms. "Ta-Da!" The female remarked, making her arms parallel with the ground. "Now, how can I get out of this position without unwrapping my foot and shoulder? Let's see…" She twisted her tongue outside of her mouth, and after several minutes of mind boggling stretching and flexing, she was on her left foot, her right still folded over her shoulder. "There you are! The magnificent Expresso does it again!"

"Attention students! Report to room 203." Everyone looked up suspiciously at the loudspeaker that was suspended over the school property. The cold late October air rushed into the building as the 13 teenagers pushed open the doors, walking in and searching for their 'room 203'

"Guys, why don't we just follow the map?" Gwen suggested quite blankly, looking up at the ceiling. Everyone looked up, and there, on the ceiling, was the layout of the school, spray-painted on the ceiling.

"Like or hate her, you've got to admit, she's got a way around things." Duncan remarked. Noah snapped an image of the map with his cell phone, and the group of 13 walked onward.

Chris and Chef apparently were waiting for them in the Cafeteria, where a podium was erected for Chris while Chef was behind the counter. "Greetings everyone! TDIR brought our ratings out of the slump, and due to the continued postponement of broadcasting Revenge of the Island, I decided on doing a 5th season with you guys!"

"Took long enough." Duncan remarked. "This is the first Monday after last Saturday, when we concluded our event at Indianapolis."

"I understand that you and your sex buddy didn't enjoy it." Heather spat, walking in front of the punk. "Besides, I was the only one that has a job opportunity due to that."

"Job opportunity Heather? Please explain?"

"Gladly. Roger Penske has hired me to drive one of his cars." She remarked, smiling widely.

"NASCAR or Indy car?"

"IZOD apparently. I don't think Will Power, My teammate, is a NASCAR driver."

Alejandro whistled. "That's why you refused to-" HE shut his trap as Chris clapped his hands.

"Okay, enough catching up on past events. Let's run thought this, but fist, welcome to TOTAL

DRAMA

HIGHSCHOOL!"

"Yeah grandpa, I have a question." Duncan butted in. "Why is it called 'high school' when most of us are 18 or 19?"

"Well, I'm trying to satisfy a fan base out there, and Total Drama High school is what everyone wanted. Total Drama College is the real name of this season…In fact, I'll probably have to change the name totally of the event." He admitted. "But anyways, we have here in this building only the best!"

"Meaning Me losers!" Ezekiel remarked, pointing with his thumb at himself.

"No Zeke. I mean the best at Total Drama Competing. The Final four of every season…Well, except for Cody who still is in a coma after his crash…" Sierra began crying. "…And our favorite CIT Courtney, who is currently locked up in a Prison for Voluntary attempted manslaughter, or better defined as 1st degree murder charges." Gwen exhaled in relief. She wasn't going to have her life attempted again.

"But that doesn't explain why Zeke, Eva, and Izzy are here." Tyler remarked. "They are cool and all, but Eva only competed in season one, Izzy finished 7th, and Zeke never made it to team disbandment."

"He's got a point." Noah admitted. "Why are those three here?"

"Because while you two, Tyler and Noah, were competing for that Million dollar challenge, they were racing at ORP in the final aftermath! The top 5 were also going to be automatically locked into a 5th season. In order, Eva won, Izzy was second, Heather third, Duncan fourth, and Ezekiel was fifth after getting crashed on the last lap."

"So much for the best." Alejandro quietly whispered.

"Al, I can't hear you. If you have something to say, say it aloud."

"I meant so much for the best." He stated louder. "I mean, with those three here, they will be so incredibly good that they'll sweep the top 3 spots." He exhaled in disappointment, although it was only a mocking one.

"O-kay. Right. Anyways. The Broom closet is the confessional camera this year."

-Alejandro's POV-

The confessional booth is a small structure, where all there seems to be are brooms hanging from the ceiling, and broom heads sticking out of cubby holes form the walls behind and to the sides. Alejandro is sitting on a wooden bench,

"Obviously, making those that are slightly on the un-competitive side, as in Zeke and Eva, bust their buttons and assisting them as much as I can will make it where they are so overconfident…well, let's just say that the taller they are, the harder they fall." He plants his fist into his hand, grinning maliciously.

-Normal POV-

"Furthermore, Unlike the last three seasons, someone will be eliminated every single episode!" A gasp of air went up from the crowd.

-Heather's POV-

"Finally! Now no dicking around with award challenges, fake eliminations, and the like! I can really get it going here! Mind you, I nearly won on the Island had it not been for Lindsey…who is still paying dearly!" She remarks.

-Normal POV-

"Now, first challenge of the day is to get your respective lockers…But they are in the hallway, and the door to get out of this Cafeteria is locked now, and guarded. Whoever hauls their ass out of the Cafeteria and into the Halls to choose lockers wins! Whoever doesn't…well, to bad."

The lights suddenly went out, except for a spotlight Chef was holding on the ceiling that was aimed at Chris and the podium he was behind. "And the first 6 of you that make it to the lockers, they form Team 1. The others…Team 2. GO FOR IT!" He then opened up a trapdoor in the floor beneath him, and it closed just as he left, the spotlight even going out, plunging the entire room into complete darkness, save for the first few nighttime stars that were shining through the window outside."

"'Kay. Now what?" Sierra asked. The contestants turned around to look at the doors, which had two large figures by them. "I wonder who they are?"

"You can't see shit in this room." Gwen remarks then. Then as she remarks that, two flames go up. One from Duncan's lighter, another from a lighter Heather is apparently holding.

"Great. But who are they?"

"There's only one way to find out now." Duncan walks up to the duo, holding his lighter in his hand. "Hey dudes, you mind letting us through, before I pump your guts full of lead?" He asks, brandishing in his free hand a VMAC9 Velocity Firearm. All 32 rounds ready to go.

The two 'guards' stepped forward, showing their identities in the light. On the right is the oh-so-familiar Chainsaw wielding bear, on the other, the oh so familiar chainsaw wielding Psycho killer with the hook hand! The sound that accompanied right afterwards ran a chill down all the contestants spines, the sound of chainsaws being turned on and running!

The Bear charged forward at the other flame that was being held by Heather. Everyone scattered but the brunette, who just held up her right hand and motioned for the Bear to 'come and get it'. He came, and he got it, as she dug her 9 inch heels between his legs, resulting in massive pain for the mammal, and he fell to the ground, dropping the chainsaw and his rage temporarily, replacing them with pain instead.

Meanwhile, Duncan unloaded. Quite literally, as he tore off the bullets. But the psycho had on his hook hand a trashcan lid, shielding him from all the bullets that subsequently came. The psycho then took the lid, and slammed it on to Duncan's head, and the punk fell to the ground, seeing stars shooting around his head.

"GUYS! OVER HERE!" Sierra remarked, pointing into the kitchen. Everyone, scared as they were, turned tail and run, save for Alejandro.

"AL! AL! AL! QUICK AL! WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME AL!" Owen screamed. Alejandro's left eye twitched just a bit, but he turned to face him. "My friend Owen, It will be my sacrifice to try and stand down these enemies!"

Everyone just shrugged and ran into the kitchen, as the psycho stepped over Duncan's collapsed body, and Alejandro began jumping around to try and avoid the chainsaws that were hacking at him.

In the Kitchen, Gwen laid down Duncan's duffel bag. Before Heather could retort with any insult about bringing her boyfriend's luggage with her, she opened up the top, and pulled out a 43C. To be exact, a Polis PPS version of the pistol. She shoved a magazine into the front of it, totally loaded. "Here's the plan guys. We need to try and find some way out of here without using the doors." As she said that, a banging could be heard on the doors that they had locked that were keeping the 'guards' out for now.

"Like how?" Sierra asked. "You don't have a chainsaw in there!"

"No. BUT, I do have a horde of AK-47s If they get in here, we run at them, guns blazing. Everyone know how to shoot a gun?" She asked as she tossed several others around, magazines already in and loaded. Beth, Noah, Eva, and Owen looked at the weapons with raised eyebrows. Izzy and Owen Hi-fived as they received their guns.

"YAHOO! MEN WITH GUNS ARE SO COOL!" He shouted.

"I know right? Who doesn't like a mate that knows how to discharge lead?"

"How do we work these things?" Lindsey asked. She pulled the trigger, and Heather threw her hand to the back of her head, where a portion of her hair fell to the ground. The Queen Bee looked at Lindsey angrily, and Lindsey stood up with Tyler, who was all ready apparently.

Sierra and Gwen stood up with weapons readied. "Now, start looking for some form of exit. We should have about…20 seconds." She remarked, looking at a big dent in the metal door.

"20 seconds Gothie? You have any idea…"

Gwen stood beside the door, her weapon readied. The door suddenly flew open, and the two walked in, the hook handed psycho dragging a beaten up and unconscious Alejandro on his hook by the cuff of his shirt. The bear sniffed the air, walked over to a refrigerator, and opened up a door, where a bag of marshmallows were. Smiling, he opened the bag up, and licked his lips, eating the contents one by one.

Heather ducked behind a counter in the center of the room, her own Ak-47 loaded and ready for action. She knew how to shoot these, as she did have to handle guns in the past. Her glance was briefly distracted as the freezer door shut, all the other contestants locking themselves their. Heather rolled her eyes, and jumped up, pulling the trigger and letting the bullets tear.

-Freezer room-

"It's-s-s-s-s Cold in here!" Sierra remarked, rubbing her arms while hanging her gun on a hook beside her. Several other hooks were hanging, huge slabs of meat hanging off of them.

"I'll find a way out! Every freezer room has to have some type of way out of it!" Izzy remarked, sniffing the ground like a dog.

"Hello…We'd like out of here, and to the hallway!" Lindsey said to the wall, knocking on it while she did. Beth leaned herself up against it also. "Lindsey, It sounds hallow!"

Noah slouched against a wall. As he did, the wall fell behind him, and he fell backwards. As that happened, the wall covered back up the passage he just fell into. He rubbed his head, the location not lit at all. "Brilliant. Of course I'm the only one to find a way out." He remarked, only the whites of his eyes visible in the darkness. His gun cocked, and he put his ear against the door, where he could hear Tyler and Zeke trying to convince Eva not to bust the door down and take down the psychos themselves.

"Of Course, No one else is bright enough to lean against the walls. Let's see here." He stuck his finger in his mouth, then brought it back out so the wind, if there was any, would blow against it. "No wind." He said, putting his hand against a wall, his other hand wrapping around the handle of the Ak-47 he held. "Of course there's no bloody wind."

As he walked onwards, he saw a light in the distance. Running up to it, he wrapped his index finger around the gun's trigger. The light was a single light bulb being suspended over the hallway. He cocked his head at it, and walked on down the hallway, re-submerging herself into darkness.

-Kitchen-

The Psycho held up the trashcan lid, catching the bullets from the PPS-43C in it. Gwen ducked back behind the counter, blowing some of her teal hair out of her eyes, then tapped the side of the magazine. Maybe, just maybe 6 rounds left. Heather unleashed several more rounds also, only for subsequently a whirring of the hammer not hitting anything became audible. The Goth rolled across the floor, emptying her magazine at the legs of the psycho as she did. He didn't see, and fell to the ground, gripping his leg in pain, dropping even the chainsaw.

The bear just raised an eyebrow, then ate some more marshmallows before emptying it. While he did that, the two females crawled back up to the bag, and Gwen pulled out a pair of fresh magazines for herself, and threw one at her rival. The two looked at each other with a knowing glance, and jumped up just as the Bear came charging forward, out of marshmallows and full of chainsaw. The two walked backwards, shooting as fast as they could.

-Cafeteria-

Duncan rolled over. His head hurt like hell. He saw Alejandro laying out stone cold on the floor a few feet away. A light chuckle emanated form his mouth, and he walked over to the door. The handles were chained up. A very audible growl came from his throat in frustration, and then he heard all the bullets going off in the Kitchen. He cracked his knuckles, and pulled out a tactical .45 Smith and Weston.

Walking into the mess hall, he whistled, and the Bear whirled around, holes in his hide and electric wires hanging out. The bear roared, and a shot went right into it's forehead, and the main circuit of the electronic bear went dead, and it collapsed to the ground.

-Principal's office-

Chef and Chris were leaning back in chairs, looking at the computer screen with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. "So…the bear was animatronic?" Chris asked suspiciously. Chef shrugged in response. "Well, That explains why it didn't have a insurance policy."

-Freezer-

Izzy tore off a ceiling panel, and there was a 2 foot space between roof of the building and the second floor. She climbed on up, and crawled through a bit. "Guys! It's like SO cool in here! They have mouse traps and everything!"

"Great! Do they have any escape routes?"

"Let me see Eva!" She shouted, and a 'Ow' was heard with a click. "Mouse trap works, and when you kick out a panel, you'll end up in the cafeteria!"

"How about the hall!"

"Yeah! Just abit farther." The sound of something breaking could be heard. "It's cool!" Her hands shot out of the hole, and grabbed Lindsey by her shoulders, and pulled her up. Next was Ezekiel, Eva climbed up herself, Tyler, Alejandro, and Sierra following suit. Owen hoisted Beth up.

"Alrighty! You're next Owen ole buddy!"

"Uh Iz, I think we may have a problem."

Izzy stuck her head out. "Yeah right! The hole isn't big enough for you." She pulled back in, and kicked out another section of the ceiling. IT landed on the floor, and Owen climbed up, but his huge thunder but cheeks took some time to squeeze in. They began crawling then.

-Mystery Tunnel-

Noah rapped on the wall at the end of his tunnel. Sure enough, it was hollow. He stepped back, and fired several rounds, then clutched his ears in pain. That was loud, and IT HURT!" Once he finally recovered from that though, he slammed his bodyweight against it, and the wall fell down. As it did, a swinging could be heard, and the locker door swung open as Noah fell backwards, knocking the wind out of himself.

-Cafateria-

Gwen, Duncan, Heather, and an injured Alejandro rushed to the door. Pulling out their respective weapons, they riddled the section of the doors around the chained handles with bullets, and they swung open. "YES!" Heather brandished her weapon, and jumped out just as several more animatronics bears came running down, holding scythes, chainsaws, and the like.

She opened fire, and ran between them. Only some fell down, and that left the other three to deal with the rest of the bears. "This, might not end well."

Just as she said that, a huge hole appeared in the ceiling above them. Owen fell down, landing on two of the bears. Izzy and Lindsey poked their heads out. "I'm not really sure that is how that was supposed to work." The red head remarked. "Oh look, we are in the hall!" Everyone swung down.

-Locker section of the hallway-

Heather skidded to a stop, her hair blowing through the wind behind her. She looked at the 13 lockers, and grabbed one, fumbling with the lock for a time before taking her gun and shooting it. The lock clambered to the floor, and she swung the door open. Inside was a congratulatory letter. She was the winner of this challenge, and was on the best team for once.

Just then, a dazed Noah climbed out of another locker, holding his own letter. "You beat me?"

"Technically., NO, because he's been out for 5 minutes. You did win Heather!" The brunette grinned proudly.

-Fighting section of the hallway-

Bullets ripped through the hallways. As did chainsaws. The army of bears against the army of contestants weren't going that great. There was no shelter, and the bears kept falling, but two more would take their place.

That was when a door opened behind the allied contestants, and several more robotic bears stepped out. They grabbed Ezekeil, Sierra, and a confused Alejandro.

"Why ye-" Was all the Brazilian got out as he was yanked into the room, and strapped to a chair.

"I'll get out soon enough, And my comrades!" He remarked, infuriated. The bears looked at each other, and raised their eyebrows. Then gave off robotic laughs.

Still, their next victim of Gwen was quite a fight. She continued kicked the stuffing out of their faces with huge kicks like what she had dealt to a psycho killer a seemingly distant 3 years ago on the Island. Nevertheless, a gas bomb took her out of the event.

IN the halls, the war turned suddenly. Eva threw her gun down, and charged forward. Almost with some beat, she began punching and kicking the heads off of the bears. One headless bear began running in circles making chicken noises, but otherwise, that cleared the way. Her, Lindsey, Beth, Tyler, Duncan, Izzy, and Owen tore down the halls. Only for just then, a bear arm reached out, and grabbed Lindsey. She released a muffled scream that only Beth heard. The female whirled around. "LINDSEY!"

Duncan grabbed her and dragged her the rest of the way, and through her at the first of the lockers. She was locked in. That was when the punk looked behind him, and saw another army of bears. He cocked his rifle, only for a disappointing empty sound to come from it. Izzy, Owen, and Eva subsequently grabbed the rest of the lockers, and Chris' voice sounded just as Duncan whipped out his knife to defend himself.

"Attention everyone, Team one is official! I repeat, Team one is official! Team two is locked in as the losers." Just like that, the bears dropped as a miniature EMP rocked the school. Duncan looked around, pissed off. He lost, and nothing pissed him off more then that. "However…That wining team is going to the voting ceremony!"

"WHAT!"

"HUH!"

"NO FAIR!"

"I JUST WON IT, AND I GET THIS!"

"Well, it's because you all are to competitive. I mean, you would dominate the entire season. SO yeah, a dual elimination ceremony!"

"We'd be 4 to 7! We'd never catch up!"

"Yeah…That's not my fault." Chris remarked over the speakers. "Everyone else, get your stuff ready. You'll all be sleeping in the Mess Hall, and the Elimination ceremony will take place in the principals office."

-Elimination Ceremony-

"Okay. Let's take a look here. 6 of you, but Heather wins solo invincibility for winning the challenge first, and she IS going to be your team captain. So…cast your votes." The team members pulled out slips of papers, and pencils to go with them, and began scribbling names on them. "Give the papers to me." Chris held out his hand over his desk. One by one everyone gave him their papers.

"My oh mightily my. This is surely going to be interesting. Heather is safe." He took a piece of paper and folded into a paper plane quite rapidly, and threw it at the World Tour champion, hitting her in her cleavage.

"Next up is Beth, with no votes against her." She gladly caught her paper plane. "Thanks Guys!" She remarked.

"…Izzy! Totally safe with no votes." Izzy caught the paper, unfolded it, looked at the paper, and crammed it in her mouth. "Tastes Inky!"

"Now, like the others that are safe, the one that will stay will get the piece of paper with a big capital A on it. If you get a capital F, you flunked Highschool, and have to leave. I have only one A left…"

Noah rested his chin in his hand, looking glumly at the paper. Eva clinched her fist, and Owen looked back and forht wearily.

"The safe one is…."

"One of you three…"

"But their name is…Eva!" Eva caught her paper, and unfolded it, a smile smearing her face as she threw a fist into the air, staying on.

"Noah, Owen, You two are gone!" He pointed to the door. "The bus of failures will pick you up and deliver you both."

"Well, at least it's not as bad being kicked out with a friend, right Noah, my little buddy!" Owen bear hugged Noah, who began pushing against Owen's large mass, trying to un-smother himself.

"MMMMMMM!" Owen let the bookworm go, and he collapsed to the floor. "Ughhhh." Only just then Izzy leapt onto him. She yanked her top up, and tons of pixels covered her chest region. Chris narrowed his eyes in slight disapproval.

"Kiss them goodbye!" The red head demanded. A muffled No could be heard form the eliminated contestant, but Izzy pressed her twins harder against him. Apparently she was satisfied then, as that was when she drew back, pulled her top back down, and sat back down, straightening it up. Noah got up, shook his very red face, and trotted out, mumbling about having a psycho girlfriend.

"Goodbye Everyone!" Owen shouted to the school building as the bus pulled up behind them. IT wasn't a school bus as expected, but a transportation bus. As the doors opened, Chef motioned for them to come in, and smoke poured out. The two coughed and hacked, but reluctantly stepped in. The door shut, and that was when the thing zoomed down the road, with their suitcases attached to the ceiling.

Chris turned his head away from the window of his office. "Well, our first two winners are gone! Who will go next? Only I don't even know, And I'll tell you what, This will be the best season yet! Find out next time if I'm right about my predictions here on TOTAL

DRAMA COLLEGE!"

- - - -TDC- - - -

Yes. Very bad. I'm sure it was a horrible pilot. But I'm trying desperately to cure writers block by just plowing through it. Enjoy. Next chapter will come soon enough. Until then, REVIEW!


	2. Botany, Biology, Geology: Oh my!

Another episode? Already? By the gods ye serve, or more appropriately, by the God I serve. Anyways, we go into our fist single-elimination challenge. So no, another pair won't be knocked out, just one more. Find out who will win, and who will fall, here on TOTAL DRAMA COLLEGE! *Yes, that is the official name*

* * *

><p>"Last time on Total Drama College! The 13 contestants got conformable with an army of robotic bears. Everyone either kicked ass, or had their asses kicked. In the end, Heather won the season's first challenge, and is head of her own team, along with Duncan as the other head. However, in an unforeseen event, the winning team went to the voting ceremony, where we had a two for one sale on, not boobies like Izzy thought, but winners. Inaugural Champ Owen and Last season's runner up Noah were taken out on round one. Today, we go into our first school oriented challenge! Find out right here, right now, on TOTAL DRAMA REVENGE OF THE ISLAND…! "<p>

"NO! NO NO! HE shouted. "I got it mixed up again. IT would help if they just aired the show already. I mean, we already finished filming it. Gosh, I mean here on TOTAL DRAMA COLLEGE!"

-Original Total Drama Theme, redone by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus-

*Music starts in low, then slowly clocks in eerily* *While this goes on, the Camera shows the High-school, shooting through the doors, down the hall, past Chris McLain who is in a office chair, and to the pool."

*Drums bang hard* *Camera then dives into the pool, Showing Owen swimming with a blow-up alligator*

Parents! I'm Doing Fine! *Camera jumps out of the water to show Trent smiling while wearing swimming trunks, diving in as Gwen watches while sitting under an umbrella*

IN this game of life, Your advice is on my mind! *Camera pans left, showing Duncan watching the incident with raised eyebrows*

When you asked me what I wanted to be, I'm telling you, I am now famous! *Camera shoots toward the track, where Eva and Izzy run side-by-side, Noah and Owen cheering in the bleachers*

I'm finally getting closer to the sun *Alejandro corners Heather against the lockers, talking to her about what appears to be strategy*

Although the competition's killing my chance to have already won! *In the Mess Hall, Chef takes some several years old sushi out of the freezer*

Everything I'm doing, the obstacles are still in my way! *Tyler and Lindsey look at Chef with wide eyes, then at each other in fear.*

Yet I've got to get their one day! *In the computer room, Beth shows Ezekiel how to hack a online game*

Because I shall soon be Famous! *Sierra updates her twitter blog, a framed picture of Cody sitting next to her. She wipes a tear from her eye as she looks at the image*

*Rapid Repeated beating in the background*

I Shall soon be famous! *Camera shoots into the hallway, showing the map on the ceiling*

I am Now Famous! *Shoots into Principal's office, where Chris sits in a chair, holding a plate filled with report cards*

I Shall Soon be Famous! *Camera zones out a bit, showing the TDC contestants looking at him eagerly as Chef in a female secretary outfit walks up, telling Chris something*

*Scratchy Demonic voice* I AM NOW FAMOUS! *Rapid drum roll, then sudden beat at the end* *As this happens, the camera zones way out, showing that over the front door of the school building, a sign saying 'Total Drama College' Can be seen*

-TDC-TDC-TDC-

"Wake up maggots!" Chef called form behind the counters of the Mess Hall. The 11 contestants shifted about in their sleeping bags. The cook shook his head, and with a spatchula, hit a buzzer. The sound woke everyone up excpet Heather, and they all grabbed their ears.

Heather removed the cucumber slices from her eyes. She shook her head, and cracked her joints, then stood up. "What's for breakfast Chef?"

"Ancient Sushi, Edible Socks, and a bit of Mangos!"

Duncan and Gwen exchanged glances. "Um wow. Did Heather just turn a new leaf?"

-Heather's POV-

"I know, Very uncharacteristic of me to act so kindly. However, everyone odd numbered year has been my best one. Season 1 I finished 3rd, and Season 3 gave me a win. Why shouldn't this year give me another great result, like for instance…another win? So, to make sure the streak stays alive, I'm going to act a big more like Al. Nice on the outside, and still demonic on the inside. We'll see how far it takes me."

-Normal POV-

As everyone, still clad in their sleepwear, lined up for their food, Izzy kicked a ceiling panel out of the ceiling, landing in Ezekiel's sushi. Her head poked out of the hole. "Guys! I've seen the entire school already from up here! It's just amazing!"

"Great. DO you know what we're doing today?" Tyler shouted up. Izzy shook her head to the negative.

"Great." Duncan grumbled, getting whacked on the head by Chef's spatchula. "No mumbling in my Mess Hall!"

"Fine then." He remarked, rubbing his Mohawk. That was when the doors opened, and Chris McLean walked in. "Good day contestants, or should I say, students?" He only got stares in return. "Today's subject is going to be…"

"How to survive a Columbine shooting?" Duncan prodded, only to get whacked on the head again harder. "OW!"

"Close, But not quite. Today, we are going to definitely be getting dirty. It's Science as the subject today!"

Sierra sighed. "If only Cody were here, He could get us a good grade in that."

Heather seethed, but patted Sierra on the shoulder. "It's okay now Sierra. I feel with you for your loss."

Eva raised an eyebrow. That was when her edible sock stood up in her plate, and grabbed her by the wrist. "OW! OW! Get this thing OFF OF ME!" She shouted, wrestling with it.

"Hey Senior Chef, just how edible is that sock?" Alejandro asked.

"Just as old as the dinosaurs, and with just as bad of a temper." They were interrupted by a series of loud poundings from Eva's fist into the sock, killing it.

"I want you in the Lab in 15 minutes. Over and out!"

-Lab-15 minutes later-

Everyone showed up on time, fully dressed, and grinding the last bit of sleep out of their eyes, and staring at the room intently. Desks with textbooks, beakers, Bunsen burners, and even a hanging skeleton was seen in the room. Izzy crawled out through another ceiling panel.

"In most high schools, and even lower levels of college, you all will find out that there is a nice thing known as dissection. I would have dissected a human being, but sadly, I couldn't get my lawyers to give me the go ahead. So, to settle, we'll be dissecting a Zebra."

"Aren't zebra's endangered?" Alejandro quizzed.

"Yes. Indeed they are. That is why this is such a special challenge. Both teams have to find the spleen in their Zebra first. Whoever does, gets a head start on the next challenge. Now, because the Textbooks won last week's challenge, they go second, and the Mail goes fist."

"The who won and the what goes first?" Lindsey asked, scratching her head.

"Oh yeah. Team one, Headed by Heather, I have christened as the Screaming Textbooks!" A green circle with an open book appears over that team's head as their symbol. "Team two is the Killer Mail. I was going to use that for Revenge of the Island, but again, I didn't get confirmation." A red circle with a envelope on it appears over the 7 person team. "Now…begin!"

-Screeching Textbooks-

Heather passed around the dissection knives, and everyone pulled out some masks to put over their face to shield their mouths and nostrils. "Ready?" She lightly pressed the knife just below the left side of the shoulder on the dead beast. A geyser of blood sprayed out and smacked her shirt. "UGHHH! How dare it!"

Once the fountain of blood stopped, Beth posed the question on if they were ready or not. "READY!" Ea exclaimed, discarding her knife and grabbing a section of skin just below it's ribcage, and tore. The intestines spilled out.

"Wow. Why did I think of that?" Izzy remarked.

"Okay! Great job everyone! Now we just need to get it!"

Blood then began to pool out of the dead mammal, and it covered most of the organs in a stew like mixture. "Ewww. Anyone have surgical gloves?" Beth posed.

-Beth's POV-

"It's so nice to be on a team with only girls, even if there is Heather there. I mean, at least we all can talk about relatively the same thing. Right?"

-Normal POV-Killer Mail-

Duncan held up a chainsaw. "SCREW THIS! LET'S DIG IN!" The thing turned on.

"Duncan! Don't!" Gwen screamed, shielding her face with her hands.

"Bromigo, I agree with Gwen here as…" Duncan cut in anyways, and the geyser spewed up, hit the ceiling, and fell down onto a kissing Lindsey and Tyler who were on a chair behind them. The two hardly even noticed the red liquid on their bodies.

Sierra shook her head negatively, and as Duncan pulled the saw away, she and Ezekiel reached in and strated feeling about for the liver. "I think the spleen is located under the liver."

"Yah. I agree with her there." The 3 contestants that were still paying attention looked at them strangely, as before long they had everything waist up of theirs inside the carcass. "I'm not seeing it dudes!"

"Someone, Flashlight!" Sierra called out, sticking her hand out and opening and closing it rapidly to show her need. Gwen handed her a flashlight, and it turned on. "WHOA! Dude's, it' like a whole new world!"

"Found it…the liver at least." Sierra remarked.

"The spleen?" Alejandro asked, looking over the bloodied animal body.

"Can't find it."

"Poor animal." Alejandro knelt beside the head of the animal, and put his mouth next to it's ear. "I feel for you. You were murdered brutally for no reason, and now you have your organs poked around in."

-Screeching Textbooks-

Using a pair of kitchen tongs, Beth and Heather were poking around in the stew, trying desperately to find themselves a zebra spleen. They pulled up a liver, followed by a large intestines, but still no spleen.

"Guys! You should totally drink this stuff! It's like so good!" Izzy remarked, her lips covered with blood. The three female teammates looked at her shockingly, and she hiccupped. As she did, the spleen fell out of her mouth and landed in Eva's hand. "Um…wow. Chris! We found it!"

Chris walked over. "Indeed. Now, someone get this crazy girl some antibiotics before she dies on us!" That was when the eyes rolled into the back of the redhead's sockets, and she collapsed.

* * *

><p>"While Izzy recuperates in the nurses office by Nurse Hatchet, we're going to continue our challenges. The last part of our science oriented challenge is going to be about, you guessed it, rock strata. According to some scientists, those rocks were laid down over millions of years. Under others, they were laid down under one or two sudden world-wide catastrophes. The Killer Mail will defend position A, while the textbooks, Position B. Whoever does the best defense gets to be spared from elimination. The one that doesn't, they will head to the elimination ceremony." Beth raised her hands. "Yes Beth?"<p>

"Will the winner go to another voting ceremony again?"

"Nope. Not today. We are contorting back to the old rules." Chef pushed a tray by with a bunch of various rocks and images of the grand canyon to the teams. "And…begin!"

-Screeching Textbooks-

"So eh…what are we to do exactly? I know we have to prove this evolution thing, but… I don't really believe in it."

"To bad. I think most of us don't believe in that kind of thing." Duncan sneered at the prairie boy.

"Indeed. We need to take as much information as possible from them."

Tyler reached in and pulled out the image of the grand canyon. "I don't get it." He stated. "Wouldn't all these be more of a smooth transition?"

"Tyler, stop blowing holes in our story!" Gwen shouted. "We don't have to much time."

"Allow me." Gwen looked at Alejandro and stared at him with a raised set of eyebrows. "Allow you to what?"

"Concot a killer rebuttal to their seemingly pointless creation statement."

"…Fine. Take it." Gwen remarked, handing the materials to the Hispanic.

"Mi amour." He remarked, and pulled out a magnifying glass, looking deep at the slab of granite he picked up. Unknowingly, they were under watch by a jealous female.

-Heather's POV-

"Was that, flirting? Alejandro flirting with Gwen? Oh yes it was. I Would know. Who was it that flirted Alejandro all the way up to the final two to dump him off the side of a volcano. And now he's flirting…with weird crazy Goth Girl! I think that if he doesn't go…he needs a reminder on just whom he serves." She took her purple 10 inch heel off of her left foot, and smacked the tip of it into her open left right hand.

-Normal POV-Killer Mail-

"So…how do we figure this out?" Beth asked. "I'm a full faith believer in the creation thing, but I mean, science and God never seemed to mix well."

"Allow me." Eva remarked, yanking a rock from the pile, and crushing it with her hand. "Pumice. IF that had been laid down millions of year ago, it wouldn't act like a weak, flimsy drying sponge. It would be hard, and totally full of mixed minerals." She grinded her fist together, the pieces dropping out.

Heather pulled out the image of the Grand Canyon. "Furthermore, The K-T boundary that I see here is only found in two places, asteroids and deep in the earth's surface." Eva and Beth looked at Heather with shocked faces, jaws wide open. "With that said, coupled with the erratic burying of fossils not from a super tremor like what would happen in an asteroid impact, but rather form the earth splitting and shooting upwards form below, as if huge geysers erupted." Then the World Tour winner looked at her two teammates. "What? I had to attended a Church once."

-Eva's POV-

"Smug, self centered know it all. Despite the fact that she seems to have the information we need, she is way to much of a female Gestapo. I say that as soon as I can, we sink a challenge and throw her out, like she did to me all those years back." Her teeth gritted as she remembered the events on the Island.

-Normal POV-Screeching Textbooks-

"Okay, Duncan, you've got anything yet?"

Duncan pulled his head away from the paper, smiling smugly at Gwen. "Of course I do." He then handed her the piece of paper he had been writing on. She grabbed it, and with interest the gothic female began reading the paper.

"Duncna, through the entire thing, you only say 'Evolution is true because Darwin said that Evolution is true because Darwin said…'."

"I know. One killer Fact, right?" He asked sarcastically.

"Duncan, surely you don't honestly think that we can win with just this?"

"Hey, I never really cared on where our origins lie plainly. Let's face it, we are in the here and now, and the then and there doesn't matter, does it?"

She sighed, and walked over to Alejandro, sitting on the other side of the desk, writing away quite rapidly. "You've got anything yet?"

"Indeed Masamita. I have a series of 30 facts that should be enough to win us over."

"Good, Because some people didn't have what it took to do it." Gwen removed the stack of papers from beside him. "You could write a killer essay." IN the background, one could see Heather run up to Duncan, whisper something in his ear, and back off.

-Duncan's POV-

"So what. You honestly think that Gwen is flirting with Ale-crap-o? After all that he's done. Nuh-unh. Not buying it. I think that Heather is quite paranoid to be honest. Besides, you can't tell me that the two would even be compatible. Besides, his abilities are little more then challenge winners. Once we get to team disbandment, he's gone as far as I care."

-Normal POV-Killer Mail-

"So, you really think that this will win us the safe spots?" Beth asked inquisitively. Heather yanked the paper out from Beth's hand. "Darn right it will. There's nothing in it to make me think otherwise. Besides, Chris knows what he's dealing with."

Just a good 30 minutes later, and Chris McLean was sitting with Chef Hatchet behind a table, both holding bags of popcorn. "Okay teams. I hope that you all are ready. Because frankly, I'm in the mood for some invincibility-winning material. First up is the Screeching Textbooks." The two clanked the bags of popcorn together, some of it spilling out onto the floor.

Alejandro stepped onto the stage, and Tyler pointed a large spotlight at him. "Today, I am here to debate on the scientific side of the Evolution/Creation Debate. Frankly, and let's face it here, it's redundant and absurd to think that there is a 'God' that rules over us all. The notion flat out is insupportable, as there is no scientific evidence to explain it. This 'God' would have been all over our modern day lives, controlling our every move and preventing us from doing anything but be reminded that he exists. Such a being would be, in essence, a un-removable Dictator. As this is not the case, allow me to proceed on."

"As you can see here, looking at this…" And that was when a loud buzzer went off. "Okay Al! Your time to shows your side is up."

"We were timed?"

"Yeah. I just didn't feel like telling any of you. Next up, The Killer Mail!"

Heather stepped onto stage, smirking at Alejandro as he walked off. Eva punched Tyler's lights out, and then took his big spot-light and aimed it at the Queen-Bee. "Thank you very much Chris…Now, Before I start, I want to give a solemn 'thank you' to Chris McLean who…"

-Heather's POV-

"Naturally, when I found out about the 45 second gap timing, I realized I'd have to condense my speech, and throw all the facts out in the place of…Flaterry."

"…And due to his grent benevolence, This man named Christopher McLean choose my team, weak as it already was, to propose a veiwpoint that was quite easy to understand frankly." The buzzer went off, and Chris stood up.

"That, by far, was the best pro-creation theory description I've ever heard of! Folks, It's off to the Elimination ceremony for you Textbooks! While in the meantime, the Mail get to enjoy a 4 star desert served by Chef Hatchet himself!" Chef frowned at the prospect of having to do more work, but he trudged off to the kitchen none the less.

-Elimination Ceremony-

"Seven of you. Frankly, Any of you could be eliminated, and I think it would help the team. Alejandro didn't do anything helpful in the time allotted." The Hispanic gritted his teeth. HE hadn't been informed by that two-faced show host!

"Duncan, all you came up with is a proposed 'fact' which did nothing but loop. I expected worse from you." The Total Drama Action winner opened his knife, spun it around in his hand before grabbing it sharply, an angered look etched on his face.

"Gwen, as a team leader, you fail. Sierra, you did positively nothing beneficial to your team." Gwen and Sierra stayed mum, knowing that the man was right.

"Ezekiel, you are frankly the cockroach that we can't get rid of! A one-man infestation! Face it! You HAVE to go! You sexism will get you nowhere!"

A retort was Chris' answer. "At least for the second straight season I won't be eliminated first!"

"And For Tyler and Lindsey. Tyler…Lindsey? TYLER LINDSEY! STOP SUCKING FACE AND PAY ATTENTION!" The two were still wrapped in the other's arms, but they turned and looked at Chris for the first time all day, Zebra blood still staining their hair. "You two did nothing but kiss, Kiss, and kiss some more! If it was a dual elimination, I'd cast my two votes for you guys." The two of them shrugged. They could be eliminated, and it wouldn't matter to them. They were living in a nice castle in Toronto, with some money to spare still, not to mention that their families are rich."

"I have the votes here. Gwen, Sierra, and Duncan received no votes at all." They caught the report cards with a smile.

Chris shifted the half-smile on his face. "Tyler…And Lindsey! Safe with no votes." The two of them caught the report cards with their hands as they went back to kissing.

"And that leaves two. Alejandro and Ezekiel. Ezekiel…and Alejandro!" The prairie boy and the Columbia native exchanged glances. "Zeke…or Al?" Al shivered at being called Al once more. He had been called 'AL' enough times in his life!

"And the final report card goes to…Alejandro!" Alejandro exhaled in relief as Zeke was left without cards. "Ezekiel, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"It's a good thing I'm going. I need to get back to the farm anyhow." He chuckled, and walked out the door. Just before it shut, he poked his head back through. "Besides, being with My family I discovered was more important then being with a million dollars. AND, I need to brush up on my hunting skills. So I won't be your one-man infestation this year Chris. I heard that maybe Dawn or Zoë will fill that role."

The door shut, and the homeschooler went outside, braving the cold as the bus pulled up. He smiled with satisfaction as he threw his suitcase and sleeping bag in the bus, and climbed aboard. The doors shut behind him, and the Bus went off.

Back in the elimination room, as the six members of the Screeching Textbooks left the building, Chris turned to face the camera. "Today folks, Ezekiel was eliminated, and we found out that because I said so, Creationistic values are true! Tune in next time to see who gets the boot next, right here, on TOTAL

DRAMA

COLLEGE!"

* * *

><p>Like? Didn't like? I don't care. Review, and wait for the next chapter to arrive.<p> 


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